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Ruminations in tech week


So... I'm sitting in the burrows theater dressing room... and we open in a week... WHAT IS THIS?!

 

Aside from that, as im listening to my castmates amazing stonestreet monologue about "knowing who i am", I'll be writing something that i need to remind myself about how i should be as a person.

 

I auditions for the N'harmz again this semester in a state i clearly should not have been auditioning since I had 30 things going on that day. I wasnt prepared and went singing "Beautiful disaster" because it was the only belty song i really knew. Needless to say it didnt go well because of all the strain. Miraculously, i still got a callback again like i used to. after some talking Gerianne came out to tell me what to prepare. what she actually said meant 10 times more.  she told me to try and be less of what Nharmz wanted me to be and be myself. Despite the fact that i knew that, I think it took someone like Gerianne to tell me that out loud for it to make sense. And for some reason my whole world blew up.

 

Its like what Derek says about living and playing than "acting". Especially in classroom settings, I've spent so much time trying to figure out what the teacher wants to see and using it to my advantage. What i sacrifice instead is a sense of self. for that specific reason, im really sad i didnt do the "who i am dance" juwt because i realized i actually dont know WHO I AM. I feel like what I say I am is a combination of what everyone expects of me, what people have told me they think I am and it seems to work. But in the end its just a bunch of layers, and it comes to a point where even i dont know what the core ofmyself was.

 

But then maybe I am all those things. Maybe I give myself less credit about what I think is me and what I think is not me. Another Derek reference (because everything he says is golden). This is not a direct quote, but I'll be speaking about it from his perspective. He talks about this is an acting perspective but theres something about it that applies to life,

 

In high school, I decided I was going to be the guy that wore suits, grey socks and loafers. I was THAT guy and I was that guy who knew that every day someone was going to say "WHATS THE OCCASION? HA!" In college, I became the guy who grew out his hair, wore rip jeans, and no shoes. Now, I'm here. I'm me, but I'm also me for all of those moments. And i havr access to all of that. Thats what this class is about. everyone here can do it. Its just a matter of being able to access it at will.

 

This is in application to acting training, which is weird because I feel like this is what im doing in real life. But the  again i need to remember Im not even 20 yet. Its just a matter of patience

 

*part two: after Derek Lucci's talk about advanced year
Today was eye opening. After Derek's amazing pep talk about how he plans to form Playwrights. Essentially, he sounds like he's single handed finally going to get playwrights advanced training on track. The acting afterwards was completely different. Im continuously getting frustrated at how i can see, articulate and identify the specifics of what is keeping me from being alive, from playing with the other person in the room. Im super empathetic outside of the box, but for some reason a soon as I step in the box, I NEED comfort, i need to find safety. And I do that by the easy way out: i either run off in fear, or be aggressive and lash out. It wasn't till I went up to Derek and told him about my problem that I knew I had and he told me what I needed to do that I understood what I need to try. I'm just realizing that Derek is training us to be people to be actors that direct yourself, but the problem is that i always seem to cling to the director for feedback. Granted, i basically can make choices but I realize they are choices made and then like a loyal puppy i turn around to see if I satisfied them. Multitasking practice, remembering to live and PLAY with your partner. there is a difference between standing and being stagnant and standing and being generous. Learning to reject through restraint. The word of the day is living. Playing. Being aware, but being alive. CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

 

Thoughts written down. A lot of these are jumbled. Just need to get it out.

 

Tags:

Double dipping

Yes...

I'm beginning to feel the effects of multitasking taking over. Spring Awakening coming into its third week, and I'm starting (partial) rehearsals for Stinky Cheese man. Needless to say, I've quite literally be running around all day.

Not that it isn't exciting. I mean, I'm the luckiest person in the world to be part of 2 of the most amazing productions in the world. Granted I will be dead by March, and it is very stressful that I have to run back and forth and not give as much time to Stinky Cheese as I wish I could.

But i'm just happy and super grateful to be a part of something now :)

I want to write more but i need to sleep. Like now.

K bai
I would like to take this moment to talk about my time today with a man named Rob Paulsen.

Rob Paulsen's 140 character tweet just now about "humaness" kinda blows this entire post out of the water, but I'm going to write this anyway, because that's what we theater people do. Talk. Skip to the star if you don't wanna listen to a girl ramble for 3 paragraphs. *

  For people who read my last post (and by "people" I mean me, myself, and I), Rob Paulsen is an extremely talent man who has probably been part of any person's childhood at some point. This could be another spaz post as I retell how I was hyperventilating just from being in the same room as him. But I won't. This is going to be a post about what Rob Paulsen reminded me about what it means to be a performing artist and a human being.

  First thing he talked about when he came in wasn't about how awesome he was (even though there was plenty of it later, ha ha), but how affected he was by one little tweet some troll sent him. Apparently some douche tweeted a picture of his animaniac tapes/dvds thrown into the garbage can along with denouncing his fanhood of Rob, all because he was upset that Rob said the N-word as a character on the show "The Boondocks". Admittedly, "The Boondocks" is one of the blackest shows I've ever seen (and i mean that in the most unpolitically correct way), but this guy was obviously just being stupid for so many reasons that has already been covered by Rob and his 5000 twitter fan-knights that ripped the shit out of this troll. Yet even so, despite the hundreds of adoring fans who showered him with love at NYCC, it was interesting how one tweet made this amazingly talented and confident man suddenly sensitive about his choices and an actor. 

    Despite looking forward to the break and comic con, I was a little depressed this week. I had been getting sick more, which lead to missing studio and academic classes, with no time to catch up on shit because of the addition of long and late night rehearsals for the musical Daughters that resulted in 14 hour work days. Top it off with parents that respond to a happy girl's news that she's in a mainstage show, with  "how is the computer science minor is going?" , and you've got an Angel who's stressed as fuck. Is this a self-centered rant? Yes. Should I be complaining? HELL NO. I'm a Playwrights kid for pete's sake, multitasking is my middle name!  But it wasn't the workload that was bothering me, it was the fact that because I was not producing work on par with my standards, I began getting lazy to point at one point I actually thought "I can't wait to get this over with and graduate". And I HATE myself for letting that thought get into my head, because I already know that its not going to get any easier. Getting out there is going to be a fuck ton harder than juggling studio projects for school. And so I've been doubting myself, as I've always do in my head.

  But something Rob said today stuck with me. Don't quote me on this, but he said something along the lines of "On the days that your beginning to have your doubts, think ' nobody forces themselves to be an actor.' " I don't know why I didn't think of telling myself this before instead of wallowing in my own pity till some sort of ego confirmation comes along. I chose to be here and do what I do despite everything my parents, society and common sense have told me what I should do. I do it not only because I love it, but because what I know it can do for people. Rob mentioned that one of his favorite things about is job is seeing people smile when they work, and how that smile has helped so many people through hard times in their life. I don't know if my work will ever cure someone's depression or something, but seeing a man like him talk about that with such sincerity and gratitude touched me in ways words can't really describe.

* So long story short, if you ever read this Rob, thank you for giving me hope in the human capacity for empathy and the ability of art to unlock that. Thank you for re-inspiring me, thank you for restoring my confidence and being one of the most generous people I've ever met, and thank you for being human, and sharing that with us. In fact thank you every today for sharing your love :)


So, remember how this wasn't going to be an spaz post? I lied.

OMG SO ROB PAULSEN CONSISTENTLY DID ALL THESE VOICES AND WAS PINKY AND YAKKO AND EVERYTHING AND ALL OF MY FEELS CAME OUT AND I WAS HOLDING MY CHEST BECAUSE OF MY FEELS AND ROB WAS TEASING ME ABOUT MY FEELS AND WHEN I WENT IN THE BOOTH HE ACTUALLY LIKED MY WORK HE DIDN'T REALLY SAY ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES GREAT JOB AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS BUT APPARENTLY CARL WHEEZER WANTS TO MARRY ME CUZ I'M APPARENTLY ADORABLE AND WHEN I WAS DOING ANIMATION COPY IN THE BOOTH I SUDDENLY BECAUSE A JERSEY GHETTO PERSON IN GRAVITY FALLS  I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID THAT AND I FELT LIKE SHIT WHEN I SAID I HADN'T SEE THE NEW NINJA TURTLES BECAUSE I HAVE NO TV IN MY DORM AND CARL FUCKING SUGAR WHEEZER WAS THE SWEETEST THING AND I'M KICKING MYSELF FOR NOT BEING AS ARTICULATE WITH MY QUESTIONS AND STUFF AS I SHOULD HAVE AND BEEN ALL PROFESSIONAL AND ENDED UP JUST REPEATEDLY SAYING "THANK YOU" LIKE SOME PERSON WITH TURRETS BUT ALL MY FEEEEEEEEELLLLZZ WERE IN THE WAY AND SO MANY HUGS AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH ROB PAULSEN!!!!

All pent up FEELZ have now been released.

Love,

Angel


Its begun. That awkward time at Playwrights where you have the workload of an upperclassman... without the benefit of a freshman's naivety. Here's are our new classes!
  1. Playwrighting: Extremely excited about this class, especially after spending the entire summer writing. Half-jealous because in place of Doug Paulson's wonderful Impulse Breath class, the freshmen get Max FUCKING Rubin and Andrew FUCKING Farmer. From desk workers to Faculty. Nice gais. Nice
  2. COW: Not the kind we tip. Short for Creating Original Work. Great stuff for creativity. Not so great when a large white cube named artist's block sits on your brain 24/7
Other classes are pretty much the same. Just new teachers. All of which after 3 weeks I'm in love with ALL OF THEM. 

Next line of update: VOICE OVER WORK

I just finished recording my commercial demo and looking to recording my animation demo soon. Peter Rofe has done a great job and I give my thanks to him for helping me so far. What more: ROB PAULSEN IS COMING TO NEW YORK.

If you don't know who he is, he's basically the voice of your childhood (Pinky from Pinky and the Brain, Yakko Animaniacs, Raphel in the "old" TMNT and Donatello in the new ones, Carl Wheezer from Jimmy Neutron). If you still have no idea what I'm talking about... you have no childhood. Okay, back to business. I just discovered recently that Rob does a great podcast called "Talkin' Toons" and its honestly one of the best discoveries I have made so far, so much wonderful insight and advice about the voice-over business coming from someone who is as kind and decent as he sounds on tape. On these podcasts, he mentioned he was doing a VO seminar on the Sunday of NYCC weekend. $300 bucks? Yes... steep on my savings. But after clicking that button I could not stop smiling thinking that I was going to meet and do a workshop with this man-who-is-my-idol. So yes. voice-over. Cartoons. Awesome sauce.

Finally: The Daughters

I am the luckiest person alive to be cast in this wonderful production, much more in a Tisch mainstage my sophomore year. What's even more exciting is that Shaina Taub (Creator and co-direction of the production), said she was writing more new songs and script for this production. So essentially this show is a workshop-in-progress. I get to be part of a musical in the making. I get to do WHAT I CAME TO SCHOOL FOR. For anyone who has NO idea what I'm talking about: The Daughters is a rock-opera-epic about the greek immortal Daughters of Zeus (Athena, Artemis, and Aphrodite) and the very mortal problems they have with their life. Beginning as Shaina Taub's senior year thesis project at the ETW studio, it has gone through several reincarnations, the production I've just been cast in being one of them. PLEASE CHECK SHAINA OUT. She is an incredibly talented artist and everyone in New York should know about her. 

Okay, this is literally a recap vomit I just needed to get out in this time of stress I'm already experiencing after 3 weeks of school. I'm going to be looking at this in a month going "What the fuck was I thinking".

On that note, have a video of Maurice LaMarche causing a 4.5 on the Richter scale with his "other worldly" sounds :)

Peace out,

Angel

So this is what a job feels like...

Guess its time to jump back. I guess this is a good outlet for some talking out and recording.

So... I'm exhausted... but a GOOD exhausted. Lets just recap what's been going on in the last month:

NUMBER ONE: SUMMER!!!!!
Uh.... SUMMER STARTED... okay...

NUMBER TWO: VOICE OVER
I saw the course and I jumped it- a Voice-over class. Essentially we locked ourselves in a room for 2 hours, talked into a mic and heard stuff played back. My wonderful professor, Ted Sluberski is everything I want out of an entertainment business teacher: No bullshit, hard honesty, and a boat load of knowledge about the BUSINESS side of entertainment. Basically, not only did he help me get some basic mic technique and feedback about my potential about being a voice over artist (to which he actually thinks I can make it in this business), but how to make money in entertainment: something that many of us "artists" forget when training. Cuz... hey... off-broadway plays aren't exactly going to pay the rent. He recommended some places and people, I decided to be diligent, and BAM. I'm going in for a consultation with Peter Rofe and some Animation/Video Game projam sessions with Marla Kirban (well, Bruce Kronenburg is the one who's been answer my emails). Anyway, psyched as SHIT and coming one step closer to being a voice-actor for cartoons and animation.

NUMBER THREE: COMPUTER PROGRAMMING
Its only the first couple of days. I had to write a program that decides if a day in a year is a holiday or not. The program itself is simple. The actual coding of the program is not. And i can WRITE ONE. Needless to say I'm super proud of myself

NUMBER FO---- *cough*... NUMBER FOUR: REALITY SHOW (see what i did there, hi egoraptor i be plagerizing)
I can't gush enough about the fact that I still can't believe I'm part of this amazing project. I was honestly so terrified about being the only sophmore in this group of people while everyone knew everyone else from other stuff or from reality show last year or even more. Even so, how supportive and comforting this group of people have been to me and accepting into their group. I can say that I still have some confidence issues, but as Preston says, the insecurity drain is always there. After about one month in, I'm probably still not satisfied with the work I'm producing and contributing to the group, but what I have been learning has been so overwhelmingly awesome and has helped me understand myself better as an artist outside of a classroom situation, what it means to have the opportunity to create art for the sake of creating art and not because a teacher assigned assignments. Well, they did some of that in the realityshow but WHO CARES. Also. Liz Swados is a sha-woman. Really.

NUMBER FIVE: THE 3DS
After much deliberation and contemplation with summer sales at Gamestop, in the battle of the 3DS came out on top of the PS Vita... for now... only because the PS Vita has an amazing white bundle coming out with Assasins Creed: Liberations WOOOTT! (I STILL need to finish playing the other GAMES. ANGEL WTF.) There will be an entire new post (when I have the time) to obsess over Final Fantasy Theatrhythm and Devil's Survivor OVERCLOCKED. Oh... and i PRE-ORDERED KINGDOM HEARTS DREAM DROP HELL YEAH.

That's all I can summon out of me for now. Back to forcing myself to FINISHING GAMES I SHOULD FINISH. 

Nuzlocking

Exactly what the title says. And yes, I've been resurrected from the dead... or more like now I actually have TIME. Studios done. Exams are Exam is done. I've finally moved all my junk over. So with some spare time before summer classes actually start (voice-over classes YEA-YUH!) what better way to kill time than with the ultimate life-sucker... thats NOT Skyrim... because i don't own that... please don't kill me.

Its... ---> Click for your childhood.

Yes my friends, its Pokemon. Due to the fact that my parents deprived me of a video game childhood I've resorted to catching up now. Due to the repetitive nature of the game, i've decided to spice up the game to take on the ultimate Pokemon challenge:

NUZLOCKING

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, the Nuzlocke challenge consists of 2 fundamental rules:
  1. You can only catch the first pokemon you encounter in each area (ex. route, cave, tower etc.) If it faints or flees, tough luck.
  2. When your pokemon faints, it's considered "dead" and you must release it.
There also is a unspoken rule that you have to nickname all of the pokemon you catch to make it personally. I found this really fun Due to the harrowing nature of the game, you end up bonding with your pokemon. Thus Nuzlocking also can be an emotionally damaging experience for your soul everytime one of your pokemon dies... BUT HEY ITS FUN!

So I've decided to start with good old fashion FireRed. There are a lot of Nuzlock comics out there, but due to the fact that I can't draw and don't have the time and energy to upload half-assed pictures onto the interwebs, I'm going to write it instead, get those fan fiction creative writing skills out. So when I get to writing it, I'll keep you all posted :)

Until then, I'm catching up on every fandom and franchise I've miss out on due to studio... like finally watching Reichenbach Falls... please don't kill me. 

SPPPPPAAAAACCCCCEEEE

Only now they're more like... hacking and phlegm sneezes like that sick lady from the lunch room lolz. But as I'm sitting here, tissues in hand, there is one person that will always make me feeling better: Wheatley. Yes I know he turns into a sociopath and takes over the apeture science facility, but he's quite literally the most adorable moron ever and i just wanna hug him. So here are my favorite videos of him.


There have been a LOT of human wheatley drawings out there, probably because as a little ball of metal he's so darn human. That and there are a lot of Chell x Wheatley pairings out there :) Oh the wonders of 2-D animation. This is my favorite one out of all of them :D.



Yes. Most adorable speech ever. He didn't win, but he also had an acceptance speech  that wasn't aired. Sad... but then again Arkham City's Joker won. and after watching him, I think i know why. (P.S. on the Joker acceptance speech video @0:21 , Arkham WORLD???? WHAT????)

Finally: it is my goal in life to MAKE THIS PUPPET.

That is all. Time to continue making plans to build a space shuttle to rescue Wheatly from where-ever in space he is so we can take over the apeture science facility again. 

Peace out,

Tenshi


VG's leading man

Okay. Can we just talk about this guy for a sec?



This is Nolan North. He's a voice actor. He's EVERYWHERE and noted for being the closest thing to a leading man in video games/voice acting. Nolan North came up SO many times in conversations about VG voice actors that i was ashamed of not know who he was. So I turned to trusty ole wikipedia.

Most of you might know him currently as Superboy/Superman in the current TV series Young Justice. Already that gives him a shit load of points. But little geekster me wikied him further and found out he voices even more people on the show besides the Kent boys, like Zatara. Yes. ZATARA. THE FUCKING INDISTINGUISHABLE EUROPEAN ACCENTED MAGICIAN. Superboy. Zatara. What? Also voiced Brain, Professor Ojo (pronounced O-ho and is the spanish cyclops Superboy clobbers), and Marvin White (The poor freshmen Connor, Megann and Wally scare during Halloween). If that isn't enough of a resume, just LOOK at his wiki page.

Here are some of my favorites. Note that all of these are video games except for the first one:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force - Hitler

Portal 2- Corrupt Cores/Defective Turrets

Batman: Arkham Asylum - The Penguin/Black Mask.

Nathan Drake in the Uncharted series

And he was in that video game about assassins and their rules... oh right Assassin's Creed. And he played that dude named...


DESMOND MILES.

I shall now return to playing that game and squeal uncontrollably every time Desmond talks. Thanks Nolan. Thanks.

If you have played/watched any of these shows/games, this list is pretty much a testament to this guys versatility and talent. Can i have ur talent? Plz?

Holy crap its already January 11th... WHERE IS MY VACATION GOING????

Arkham City fail.

So after slaving for 10 hours gawking at bastion and beating it, I decided it was time i need to get back to Arkham City and kick some ass, having finished about 40% of the game. So i opened the interface and I was greeted with this.

 


WHAT.



THE.







The actual save file isn't there any more, as in the actual root COMPUTER FILE for that save isn't there. Looked up on the trusty interwebs to find a smacking of PC players who've lost their files like me, the same problem happening on the xbox as well, even though people have backups of the actual save. In other words, THERE IS NO RECOVERING IT. WB game's response? SRY GAIZ! BRB MAKING TEH PATCH SOON! WONT HAPPEN AGAIN LOLZ!!

Not. Impressed. That second save file you see I'm using to slowly work back what i've lost... T_T

WWWWHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY


I swear my eyesight is deteriorating at the speed of light.

So with the holidays now i have AN EXCUSE TO BE UNPRODUCTIVE :DDDD That is until next week when i have to get those creative juices kicking in to do my directing project... and poem... and comic script I'd promise I'd get to for my collab w/ abitsober. My life is still a hubbub of a mess T_T


So, after going on a tangent, you're probably wondering from my very first sentence WHY my eyesight is probably like... 10/20 now. Well thats because I've staring at the screen playing steam games for hours on end. That and the fact I've been on the computer for 12 hours a day this weekend. Livejournal is getting addicting, especially userpics. For my friends who follow me I apologize that your inboxes are spammed with "Tenshi has uploaded a new userpic!" messages. But seriously, after careful selection I love the ones I have now. And what better way to test them out than by going through old entries and using a new userpic for each? 

Oh yeah. i went there.

And now its 12:33am. I said I'd visit SAS again tmr. I hope I'll have the discipline tmr morning to get up and see them. I swear I'm going to do a ACTUAL spaz post very soon for the games I've finished recently. I SWEAR. PLEASE BELIEVE ME. 

Peace out,
Tenshi

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